• Emirates Team New Zealand Poaches America’s Cup with Ease

    The America’s Cup has a new home, a temporary one at least, and that home is the Royal New Zealand Yacht Squadron in Auckland, where it has not resided since 2003.

    Computer users around the world had better brace themselves for a price hike for any Oracle products upon which they depend, as billionaire Larry Ellison is likely to field a boat with an aircraft carrier price tag for the next edition of the race.

    The final tally was 8 – 1 in favour of Emirates Team New Zealand, with a six-man crew comprised of five Kiwis and one renegade Aussie, 39-year-old Glenn Ashby. Helmsman Peter Burling became the youngest, at 26, ever to steer the winning boat in the 166-year history of the America’s Cup. Ashby is a veteran with vast multi-hull sailing experience. No doubt, the Aussies will claim the Auld Mug, as it was Ashby who used his video game prowess to control the wing sail of the Kiwi boat.

    Remarkably, the U.S. Team Oracle boat contained no Americans. It was crewed by five Aussies and one sailor from Antigua. Perhaps there were no Yanks available with adequate upper-body strength to handle grinding duties and it would surprise no one if they went to the cyclor-powered system that permitted New Zealand to completely atone for the collapse they experience during the 2013 edition of the world’s oldest international sporting event, where they squandered an 8 – 1 advantage over Team Oracle in San Francisco Bay.

    Immediately after the Kiwi boat crossed the line to secure the victory, there were no stiff upper lips to be seen on the faces of the crew, as they engaged in a celebration involving champagne and beer. The crew even poured champagne into the trophy and drank from it, but whether it was swigs they took or sips, is not entirely clear.